Bobbie Dennis

…I mean, there are other men on the planet, right?

Lately, I’ve been listening to the Shrek soundtrack. Quite a lot. A lot, a lot. Okay – religiously. That’s the stage of 2020 we’re at right now, folks. Also, in completely unrelated news, I recently discovered that on a hour-long train journey, you can listen to the Shrek remix of (ch-ch-)changes eighteen times in a row. Just in case you were wondering.

In the many hours I’ve spent of my life singing (yelling) the words of All Star in some shitty York club, I’ve never really taken a beat to reflect on what Smash Mouth were actually singing about. So on my train home last week, I took the time to really listen to the lyrics. A classic look-out-the-window-and-pretend-you’re-in-a-music-video job – you know those journeys. So post-deep-dive into the Shrek soundtrack, I’m pleased to report that I have reached the following conclusion: Smash Mouth wrote All Star about Climate Change.

Hear me out: The ice we skate, is getting pretty thin. The waters getting warm, so we might as well swim. My world’s on fire, how bout yours? THAT’S THE WAY I LIKE IT AND I NEVER GET BORED.

Am I the only person who slept on this? It really ruined my train journey. There’s nothing like Smash Mouth wading in to piss on your bonfire and remind you that the world is burning. So fast-forward to yesterday, with this updated sense of urgency planted on my conscious (thanks Smash Mouth) coupled with a two-hour painting spree ahead of me (DIY goddess strikes again), I went on a hunt to listen to something climate-related. After a quick scroll, I opted to listen to Joe Rogan’s interview with David Wallace-Wells.

If you’ve not heard of him before, David Wallace-Wells is a journalist from the New York Times. Following the success of a viral essay, he released a book last year titled The Uninhabitable Earth which essentially details the future effects of unchecked global warming. Yep, it’s about as cheery as it sounds. Over the two hours (yes two hours, it’s one loooong podcast), Wallace-Wells offers a lot of food for thought. In the interview, he details how a 1.5°C increase in global temperature will result in the loss of 70% of coral reefs and at a 2°C rise, reefs will decline by 90%. Help. The terrifying reality of it all though is that we are currently on track, not for 2°C, but for a 4°C increase in global temperatures. Big impending doom.

To make matters worse (sorry), we simply don’t have the infrastructure to deal with the climate we are creating. David describes how Miami is set to be underwater by 2100 – only 80 years from now (#maths) and as a result of rising sea levels and increasing extreme weather, there’s projected to be over 150 million climate refugees by 2050 – only 30 years from now (#MATHS). Big fat impending doom.

The science is so alarming, and I would definitely recommend listening to the podcast if you can wangle a free two hours. Although the whole episode was pretty shocking, one particular part of their conversation really struck me. When discussing how we can work to combat the effects of climate change at the individual level, the conversation turned to electric cars. Joe Rogan chimed in that he drives an electric car – good vibes. But then (!!) he continued on to describe how he gets heckled at for owning an electric car.

Wait, what?

As crazy as the science was David discussed – this properly baffled me. Heckled? For making a sustainable life choice? Surely masculinity isn’t that fragile? Tesla’s are COOL, and what’s more, hybrid cars are simply cost-efficient at this point. But, it got me thinking, is there a correlation between toxic masculinity and the rejection of green behaviour?

So I did some digging, and lo and behold, it turns out that the only thing more fragile than the environment right now is masculinity.

*Just quickly, terms like ToXic MAsCuLiNIty get lobbed about all the time so just to be clear: when I say toxic masculinity, I’m referring to the harmful attitudes and behaviours associated with some (!!) men. The term basically covers the pressure for men to repress their emotions and act dominantly and/or aggressively in situations. Essentially, it’s not ideal, and I’ve come to discover that it’s pretty damaging to the climate movement.*

Broadly speaking, environmentalism is widely perceived as feminine behaviour. Similar to how our brains automatically rush to assume pink is for girls and blue is boys, both men and women tend to associate environmentally friendly choices with femininity. As a result, our cultures patriarchal norms of “what a man should be” (vom) pose a genuine obstacle to successfully mitigating the effects of climate change.

Take the hang-up with reusable carrier bags, for example. Research has shown that men (and ofc when I say men, I mean some men) feel threatened by sustainable carrier bags. Yes, carrier bags. Indeed, there is genuine evidence to show that men will dodge sustainable choices, such as using a bag for life, to avoid being perceived as effeminate or gay. It is so wild to me that the prospect of someone wrongly assuming their sexuality is so damaging to men that they will actively avoid helping the environment. They would rather pay 5p each time they shop than risk being branded – by a total stranger – as feminine. Imagine being an actual woman. *Shudders*. If only men feared planetary extinction as much as they do the opinions of strangers.

The second conflict, no shock here, is the tie between masculinity and meat. There is countless evidence to show that meat consumption is destroying the planet and that as a society, we are well overdue to switch to plant-based diets. Trouble is, the association between meat and masculinity is so deeply intertwined that while society continues to reinforce a culture of toxic masculinity, there’s little hope for men to stop consuming meat. For example, James Blunt – that guy on Twitter who sang You’re Beautiful and jumped into an ice lake that one time – reportedly developed scurvy following an attempt to assert his masculinity through adopting an all-meat diet. First of all, grim. Second of all, was that really necessary James. What is the thought process here? The best way to show I have a massive dick is to deep throat a chicken wing right?? Real men are carnivores !! Leave women to eat the salad hahaha !! alpha male !! wow my hands are so much bigger than yours !! Similar to Rogan’s electric car heckling experience, the term ‘soyboy’ has been coined to describe vegan men and is used to reinforce the idea that men who follow a plant-based diet are ultimately weaker and more feminine. I despair. WHY are we continuing to pedal these ideas! Personally, nothing says big dick energy more to me than a man who cares about the environment.

The best science we currently have suggests a time scale of thirty years to turn around climate change. Ultimately therefore, we do not have the time to continue to allow toxic masculinity to steer our decision making. Obviously, I’m not saying that men are the only perpetrators (movie villain), there’s a whole host of different factors at play that all contribute towards that 4°C increase. In reality, the big fat problem for climate change are big businesses (actual villain) and without their cooperation, the future is looking pretty bleak. However, these neighbouring problems don’t detract from the fact that fragile masculinity is genuine cause for concern and must be addressed. But what’s the solution? To go down the head and shoulders route and market an oat milk specific for men? To make brand reusable shoppers with the gym-shark logo to encourage men to participate? I’m not so sure. We need to flex our capacity for rational thought and drop these weird hang ups. She’s still not going to shag you mate, bag for life or no bag for life. Pls let’s ditch the Rustlers burgers and start making changes to help save our future lol. Oh and also pls wear a mask. Thank u for coming to my Ted Talk.

All my love, Bobs xxxxxxx

Also here is the link to the Joe Rogan interview if you’re interested! https://open.spotify.com/episode/5sJbfjQrV5nNQR1aCcciqO?si=Pbc5Rh3bTriISarswkOesQ