Bobbie Dennis

Hello friends, it’s been a while.

I was a bit wary about posting this as I’m sure you can probably elicit from the title. I’ve been pretty worried about getting caught with my pants down (lol) (no more puns I swear). I feel as though I’m about to shove my foot into some kind of conversational quicksand where I’ll get trapped if I try to explain myself. What does she know! Shut up Bobbie! Where’s her penis! Go back to talking about Tinder! However, it is high time to accept that it’s okay to be curious and to be wrong about things. We’re all entitled to change our mind and if anything this will be a welcome break from talking about the Big C so here we go:

After jabbering on about it on every social media platform this week, I’m sure it will be of no surprise to anyone that I binged Normal People all in one day. One day. Granted, this was a mistake and yes, I did have to sit in a dark room listening to the playlist I’ve made specifically for crying for some time after. Not only was the whole series absolutely gorgeous but also like half the UK’s population, I’m now in love with Connell. This is problematic for two reasons 1) he is a fictional character and 2) he is a fictional character. I’ll admit, this did take me a couple of days to come to accept and henceforth, I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to Paul Mescal for attempting to slide into his Instagram DMs – God loves a trier – but alas, not even a seen receipt. Gutted. There is just something about boys who wear jewellery and struggle to communicate <3.

Jokes aside, I thought the whole series was beautiful. Notably, a striking feature of the book/series is that there is a lot of sex. And I mean a loooooooot of sex. I’d say about a third of Normal People is pure sex scenes. Also, 78% of all stats are made up on the spot so take that as you will, but there’s no denying that the series leans itself into soft porn territory for quite a substantial slice of the filming. Although I live in rural East Anglia, I don’t actually live under a rock and have seen my fair share of sex scenes over the years, but seldom have I watched sex scenes quite like these. Specifically, I’m talking about the fact that Paul Mescal is filmed fully nude.

Actual nude. Proper nude. Nude nude.

Watching Normal People went a little something like this:

Me: Sees boob
Me: Cool.

Me: Sees a butt
Me: Standard.

Me: Sees vagina
Me: Nice.

Me: Sees a full-frontal penis
Me: HE’S GOT HIS DICK OUT!!! On camera!!! What!!! As if!!!

Now I don’t want to come across immature, it wasn’t his actual penis that shocked me, it was more the fact that he’d agreed to get it out on camera, especially on the BBC of all places. Bar Game of Thrones, I genuinely couldn’t name another TV show where I’ve seen a man properly naked. Building upon that, I don’t think I’ve watched a programme where there’s an equal balance of male and female nudity. However, if I was on mastermind, my specialised subject would not be ‘movies where men are fully nude’ so I compromised my search history and hit Google:

“naked men in movies“

After an adequate amount of Google search due diligence (who actually goes beyond page 8?) I found that female leaders were four times more likely to be shown naked on screen than similar male roles. Similarly, in Game of Thrones, 97% of all nudity is of female characters. So I suppose my hysteria towards Mescal’s nudity seemed somewhat rationalised. The same can be said about 50 Shades of Grey. (Side note: I refuse to use the word member after reading this book, it is the moist of penis synonyms). Supposedly THE film about sex, even in 50 Shades we see a huge disparity in the nakedness between Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson. On screen, it appears to me that a naked female body is now merely anticipated whereas a peen on the screen warrants more attention. So why is full-frontal nudity such a taboo for men when the appearance of a naked woman is merely trivialised? How has this happened? Why is there this inequality? Many questions.

I think firstly, there’s something to be said about the male gaze. The #MeToo and Time’s Up movements across Hollywood exemplify the power of men in the film industry. It is not surprising therefore, that this imbalance transfers itself to on-screen power structures. Women are routinely presented as mere objects of attraction which enables men to remain in a position of power. In the Wolf of Wall Street for example, about 90% of nudity was female and used as device to emphasis the status of men (e.g. the yacht party Leo hosts for his mate released from jail, he practically throws naked women at him) (lol). The hang up with on screen nudity therefore might be that in order to preserve these power structures and sustain women as the subordinate, women must be shown as vulnerable (unclothed) whilst reaffirming the idea that men are in control (clothed).

In addition, in terms of the male gaze, since ~the only audience that matters~ is a heterosexual male, we shouldn’t exactly be surprised that full-frontal male nudity is rare on screen. The film industry is customed to cater to the interests of the heterosexual male who simply don’t care for male nudity. I’ve scrolled on many-a reddit article and the number of people typing writing ‘who wants to see a flaccid penis??’ “a penis isn’t attractive to look at!!’ but I’m not convinced. You can’t tell me that the majority of female nudity in the Wolf of Wall Street wasn’t purely for titillation and did little to contribute to plot development. Perhaps therefore the disparity between male and female nudity is just a product of sexism and how society is customed to cater to nothing other than the heterosexual male. Food 4 thought.

Secondly, I think it may boil down to the ramifications of a man revealing himself on screen – the demystification of the penis. (Lol) (Lockdown made me write that sentence). Before I stomp directly into the quicksand, as usual, I want to interject quickly. I’ve just finished reading Sara Pascoe’s book Sex Money Power which is BRILLIANT by the way, everyone please hop on to Ebay and purchase it now. Spoiler alert, but the book is all about sex, money and power and how the three interplay. There’s a particular chapter called Penis Power (great name) where Pascoe explores the fetishisation of large penis’ and discusses the anxiety and shame attached to penis size and how in turn, it can dictate male confidence levels.

It may be the case that the hang up with male nudity centres around the pressure to be well hung. It does seem odd to me that it seems SUCH a sacrifice for Mescal to have revealed himself right on the big screen whereas Marianne’s vagina created little noise. According to Pascoe, dick size represents a visual expression of masculinity and in turn, much self-worth is based on the size of your genitals. Perhaps that’s why we’re denied the view on screen. How many times have you heard some kind of joke about penis size – he MUST be compensating for something !! Since men being full-frontally nude usurps the ~mystery~ around size, maybe that’s why we have such a hang up about male nudity since it involves the actor sacrificing their personal status for role? Is revealing themselves some kind of emasculatory practice?

As I’ve said earlier, this is VERY MUCH quicksand territory for me but I think this is perhaps why the notion of size is still largely surrounded in secrecy. This in itself makes SUCH little sense to me. As a 5’2, small, petite person, the idea of some monolithic third leg being presented to me would, practically, not be ideal. Despite this, it seems that men are routinely fed this idea that bigger is better. Maybe it’s just because it’s easier to blame your dick size than actually successfully pleasuring someone and that some men are preoccupied with how satisfied they are as opposed to meeting their partners needs. I really hope this isn’t the case, I hope I’m wrong and booed off stage. I stand by the idea that masculinity is a ridiculous concept and should be burnt at the stake but I think there might be something in the tie between your status as male and penis size which has resulted in the sparsity of on-screen male nudity.

Whatever the reasoning behind it is, nudity is such a vital part of storytelling and it’s sad to me that this inequality exists. Don’t get me wrong, nudity is great. The disparity between male and female nudity on the other hand, is not. TV shows such as Normal People and Sex Education are so important in relaying crucial messages about consent and relationships but I don’t think enough ground can be covered without nudity being shown on screen. We need to show sex as it’s such integral part of that narrative. Unfortunately, the way nudity is treated in Normal People appears to be the exception rather than the rule. Hopefully more male nudity might be another thing to change after this pandemic. In the meantime, if you haven’t already, please log onto I-Player and watch Normal People (serving suggestion: not in one day). Hope everyone is doing okay, hopefully this will be over soon.

Love, Bobs xxxxxx