Bobbie Dennis

For those of you looking for something to read that doesn’t concern the bloody coronavirus …I’m sorry. Just give me a hot sec this week and then it will be business as usual. But for now, I just want to ask:

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???

sorry, *what DIVOC is going on (cov-id backwards) (ur welcome)

You may or may not know I currently work in Budgens. A small lil village shop known for its infamous £4 meal deals, exploitively high cheese prices and of course, impeccable customer service (contrary to Google Reviews) (fuck u Katherine).

Cutting, but I digress.

Usually, it is the chillest job on earth. Low stress, lots of cute babies, just bopping between the shelves chatting to elderly people that probs don’t get the opportunity to talk to anyone all day – very wholesome vibes. A true stress free way of paying off those masters fees.

That is, until there’s a bloody global pandemic.

Yes. You heard it here first, direct from the frontline, there is pandemonium in Budgens. Toilet roll, flour, pasta (apart from lasanga sheets because even in a time like this nobody can be arsed making an entire lasanga), milk, eggs, paracetamol, tinned goods – yes, even spam, have been STRIPPED from the shelves. Naked and bare, the zombie apocalypse vibes have never been more potent.

What’s more, the Budgen’s clientele have turned positively tribal.

Unfortunately, as I’m sure many of you will know, disrespectful behaviour is rife when working in retail. It is fair to say the majority of people are fine and a handful of them are absolute corkers but wow, some really do make you double take. It’s astonishing. The number of people who blatantly ignore your existence is honestly worrying. On the reg, people refuse to acknowledge you, answer your questions (basic: as in, how are you? not, “do you think humans are really conscious?”) and the worst, stay on their phone throughout the entire transaction.

Ordinarily of course, I would take them straight out into the carpark and challenge them to a duel but quite frankly there are too many of them now and I would be ambushed. The game has changed and people are going wild.

Now, I don’t want to get too #philosophy on this because that’s probs not what has brought you here, if ur looking for more tinder juice just wait for next week’s post, but it’s all so relevant right now! (Yes this is 80% me seeking to justify my philosophy degree, plz hire me). But truly, Kant’s philosophy is so applicable to why we feel so wronged by this kind of behaviour.

Basically, Kant’s whole ting was that human beans should be treated as an end in themselves and not merely as a means to an end.

(Wut)

I’m very aware at how wanky this all sounds, wtf is a ~means~ and what in the world do you mean by an end. But honestly, Kant’s got a point. (Now I don’t mean to patronise AT ALL I’m guessing some of you reading this will be like yea thanks Bob came here for a good time not a lecture but for those who aren’t completely clear I’m gonna break this down (drop the beat)).

Let’s imagine Karen. Karen is one of those middle aged women with a can-I-speak-to-the-manager haircut. Karen needs some goose fat like the world DEPENDS upon it. So, Karen jumps in her BMW, turns on Magic Fm and heads to Budgens (refusing of course to use her indicators throughout the entirety of her journey) in search of said goose fat.

For Kant, that all-important goose fat is Karen’s “end”. It’s the reason why she’s jumping in her car and driving to Budgens, she’s doing all of this to achieve her end goal. All the things she needs to do to achieve her ends therefore are her means. However, if Karen wanted to grab the goose fat to use in a Jamie Oliver recipe to craft the perfect roast potatoes, the goose fat is no longer her end. Instead, it’s just another means to achieve another end – in this case, creating roast potatoes that could make it onto the cover of Good Housekeeping. Tasty.

At this point I’m sure you’re probably thinking: where am I and why am I reading about goosefat (#goosefat). BUT HERE IS MY POINT: it is so important right now that we recognise people AS people, which means not using them solely as a way to achieve our goals. Treat them as an end in themselves and not only as a means!! If Karen is literally just using me over on till three as a way to make those dreamy roast potatoes (e.g. not acknowledging me) that’s not okay. Of course it’s absolutely fine to buy something off of me, that’s my job, but if that respect isn’t there that’s when things get icky.

It’s no secret that typically low-skilled workers are routinely shat upon and it’s so sad that it’s taken a global crisis to recognise that the work they do is invaluable. It is wrong to use people and it is so important that we respect everyone, no matter the role they play in society. It is so integral that we remember people are PEOPLE that have their own worries and problems rolling around in their head. Especially during scary times like this, we have to look out for each other and raise each other up. Respect literally costs nothing.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that Kant’s Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals should be on your quarantine reading list (soz Kant) (read Sally Rooney Normal People instead guys), but over the next few weeks I just think it’s really important to keep this in mind. I know it’s a stressful time and it can be easy to lose your head a little, but the next time you brave the shops take a moment to genuinely ask the person who’s working there how they are and be sympathetic. Needless to say, this should extend to all professions – cleaners, porters, teachers and of course, our amazing NHS staff. Besides, nothing is is more telling about a person’s character than their attitude towards waitresses/shop assistants/etc. Treating strangers with respect? – that’s going straight in my basket. Global pandemic or no global pandemic, it makes such a difference when people are kind. Only buy what you need and please be kind.

OK WE DID IT. From this point onwards this blog will be a ~coronavirus free space~ so we can all take a well earned break from this nightmare and reconfigure. In the meantime, if you need something extra to cheer you up, here’s a coronavirus themed music video of my dog: )

Stay safe and stay inside!!! Love, Bobs xxxxxxxxxx