Bobbie Dennis

For my dad’s birthday this year, I gave him the gift that a father could only wish for: the guarantee that his daughter won’t be fertilised and therefore will not be with child for the next five years.

Yes, I’m talking about getting the coil *shock* *horror* …or at least that was the sentiment I had about a year ago before properly finding out about the coil. So, in light of the shiny new contraption that has been inserted gracefully into my vagina, I thought I’d share my experience of the whole shebang.

Despite retaining most of the limited sex education we were taught in school, before attending a Sexpression workshop last year, I was actually pretty in the dark about all the different forms of contraception and how effective they actually are. I remember briefly learning about the different forms of contraception but in particular, I remember the coil being painted as a code-red-bad-idea. [So just a quick recap if you weren’t really sure, the coil (or IUD) is a little T-shaped plastic/ copper device that’s inserted into your uterus. It basically works by releasing copper which prevents sperm from surviving and thus reaching/fertilising the egg. There’s no hormones involved, it’s more than 99 per cent effective and once it’s done you have very little to do or remember for the next 5/10 years. Cool. Recap over.]

Now a little bit of tmi, classic Bobbie, additional hormones are not great for me. From both my implant and several types of pills I have unfortunately been one of the lucky few that bleed c o n s t a n t l y. Imagine! A dark time for all parties and panties involved. I remember going to my nurse and asking how I could get around the problem and her answer was (politely) blunt and to the point: get a coil fitted. A coil?? That super painful procedure that is super painful and is really uncomfortable and causes you all the pain? ABSOLUTELY NOT. So scared and in despair, I parked the idea of using other contraception methods and stuck to the classic: condoms. A risky business for all, 3/10 wouldn’t recommend to a friend. The monthly fear just isn’t worth it. And so has been my life for the past year.

But, during this Sexpression session I gained a proper insight into the positives of getting the coil and why it’s the best and most convenient (!!) form of contraception. So I figured that I’d share my experience of the whole ordeal in the hope it’ll make at least someone consider getting one in the future and dispel these weird assumptions we have about the coil. 

I’d been putting it off and putting it off but last week I woke up and just knew today was the day that I would get it sorted. To start with, I rang my doctor/I have friends who have called their local sexual health clinic and booked a consultation. At the consultation my doctor reiterated and explained to me what the coil was, when I could get it fitted and what my options were essentially. The whole process for me was suuuuper speedy. I booked my consultation and, just by luck, the next morning the doctor had her pliers at the ready. I joke, there were no pliers but before I knew it my legs were open, I’d popped some paracetamol and we were ready to go. 

This is another funky thing about the coil: yes, it does involve showing a random human your vagina and consenting to them inserting instruments inside you. Ultimately yes, your dignity is pretty much flung out the window and it is a pretty rogue situation to be in. HOWEVER, you just have to keep in mind it is their job and they see ALL the vagina. Honestly, they could not care less. All that they are concerned with is that you are safe and the procedure goes according to plan. I know this is way easier said than done but honestly 40 seconds in and it’s totally fine. We are SO blessed to have the NHS and have the opportunity to be treated by their wonderful staff and they will make the situation for you as comfortable as possible. May your legs be open and your dignity forgone. 

So once you’ve gotten over that hurdle, you’ve got to second base: the pain. I say pain, but honestly hand on heart it did not outrightly hurt. Uncomfortable yes, but there wasn’t a point where I felt genuine pain and coming from me, the biggest wuz in wuz land, is saying something. I’ve had a proper mixed bag of responses from people who have experienced the coil and everyone’s tolerance of pain is different, but for me it didn’t hurt at all. The sensation is just a bit funky, having someone poking around your insides is no ordinary feeling but I can vouch, IT DOES NOT HURT. I’m pretty small and consequently, it was kinda fiddly to insert which meant that I was given the slightly smaller five year coil as opposed to the ten year one. There was a bit of shuffling my feet and hands to position myself optimally but it didn’t take long to complete. The appointment only lasted about fifteen minutes and then that was me sorted for the next five years (woohoo!).

Afterwards, you do bleed and are expected to bleed/spot for a couple of days. I won’t sugar coat it, once it had been inserted the tummy cramps were pretty real. I must have done something fantastic in a past life because I rarely get period cramps and when I do, they’re very mild. But since my poor uterus was freaking out about it’s new roommate, after the procedure I got quite strong waves of period cramps. In light of everything though, I would trade a day of cramps for a 99% preventative contraception for the next five years (!!) any day of the week. For us lazy folk it is so easy to protect yourself while putting in the absolute minimal effort. The dream.

So all in all, I would say 10/10 would recommend the coil to a friend. Hopefully this has tempted you to have a look into it or maybe even give it a go. There are loads of useful resources about it (for example, here) so I’d deffo say to go and check them out. 

Thanks for reading and happy birthday Dad (lol),

Love Bobs xxxxxxx